Because, I guess, there isn't enough Space in Tweets...

I normally throw out whatever is on my mind on Twitter,
but every time I do so, a tweet doesn't have enough character...

So I guess this will be a place where I just unload whatever is on my mind.

First of all - if you guys want to get to know me better,
I stream regularly on twitch.tv/mercedita1207
and I have my schedule linked on the side,
would love to see you there! :)

But back to what actually made me want to open this blog.
There are so many things going through my head daily,
and what I throw in here is mainly about streaming,
but lately I've been wondering,
what is there that is "special" about my stream?

I've seen so many other streamer that have something "special" about them.
May it be their humour, their open personality, that they're sweet and kind,
or may it even only be that they're doing a shit load of giveaways
- or, yes, maybe they're just fucking good-looking, lol.

But what is there that makes my stream "special"?

And maybe I can't tell because I am the one streaming,
but I really couldn't find anything that makes my stream special.

I constantly notice so many things that I have to improve,
and that, to be fair, I am working and planning on to improve.
For example my setup. It's too dark
(which also may have to do with that I stream in the middle of the night lol)
but it's not really ideal and I have to improve that.
Well, I am moving soon so my setup will immensely change.
I am still unhappy about it.

Let's not even start on the gameplay, I love gaming, but to be fair, I am quite bad.
I am in no way a "good" gamer neither am I good at any videogames in general.
I enjoy playing them a lot and I wholeheartedly play them,
but there is no game that I am particularly good at.
So for sure, people are not watching me because of my "quality gameplay"
because it's anything but quality, lmao.

I noticed lately, a lot of people are there to get support themself, to advertise themself.
And as much as I love supporting others, I really do,
I still don't feel so happy about that I get the feeling that people aren't there because of "me"
but because of them wanting to advertise themself.
I love supporting people and I love seeing them grow and do good and know I helped them
but isn't it just plain rude to not care about that other person's stream
and just be there for your own advertisement?
Can people just stop being that two-faced and act as if they enjoy a stream
meanwhile all they have in mind is just hoping for support back?
Whatever they were doing and all the "nice" things they say aren't unconditional,
they all for some weird reason come with a price.

Is it too much to ask for people to be in your stream because of "you"?
Isn't that what every streamer wants?

And then I looked at bigger streamer, things like that aren't well seen there AT ALL.
If someone comes in to advertise their own stream, 99% they get banned for that.
And I gotta say, I can understandand that.
Your stream is like your baby, you work hard on it, you put a lot of time and effort in it
and then people just come in and want to selfishly advertise themself?
That is just rude.
And seeing that as rude is not selfish. It's understandable.
Supporting someone who's honest and supportive themself, that's completely fine.
But supporting someone who literally doesn't give a shit about you but just wants your support?
It isn't bad that I find that just plain rude and that I dislike it, is it?

~ Merce